What do women REALLY want!!! – 2

“There are times when I want you to understand my silence, there are times when you do,

I want you to be proud of who I am, just the way your flaws ‘also’ make me proud of you!!!”

So after much anticipation, I thought to pen this down. The idea this time was catalysed by a friend who came with a problem. He didn’t want to hang out with his grilfriend’s friends even for a minute, he abhorred them! Well, on a mass feedback, there’s an easy route to it – tell, your girl to hang out with her friends as much as she wants and come back to you when she’s done! But here’s what I have to tell you, as a WOMAN, that what would your woman want!!!

Tell me this – Does 5 mins of bearing a person too much to ask for? I mean, she wasn’t asking you to hook up with the friend for the night! (Guess you’d be glad enough!) All you gotta do is put up a smile and tell her friends that she’s the best thing that has happened to you. If you don’t do all this jazz and follow path 1, it would hardly make a difference, she’ll still love you with all that she has. But if you make that extra effort to be there for her when she needs you, she would just feel lucky to have you. And by the way, wasn’t she the perfect host when last Saturday night your friends decided to raid your house. She put up with all that with a smile… right!

Women are ‘considered ‘ to be the most complicated creatures on earth, I couldn’t ever figure out why!!! Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus – Damn! I couldn’t ‘disagree’ more. Just the way we women can understand your urge to keep a cricket/football match over us, bear with your love for cars/bikes, know your whims for a drive a 2; why can’t you undersatnd that though we know you’re there for us and love us, we sometimes expect you to say it and your actions to prove it. Do you remember the last time you dediacted a song to her and ‘meant’ it??? Clueless! But once in a while, letting her know that you love her, not by bringing her flowers and saying “Honey! I Love You” after you make out; but by a little more meaningful things in life like picking her up in your arms and walking her upstairs because her feet hurt, or just doing the breakfast for her one morning… She’ll cherish it for a very long time after you did it!

Rule no. 2 - Mean what you say!!! Don’t say things you wouldn’t care about. It’s better to leave them unsaid than letting her build her castles of hope around it. So during courtship, when you said she looks sexy in a skirt, don’t tell her that you want her to cover up because she’s “your girlfriend” now. You should be proud of having a hot chic! Ever wondered why lions are such free souls? Because when they were cubs they had all the freedom to explore the jungle, but they never feared because they knew that from a distance, they’re being watched over! The moral – Let her fly, let her do things her way, give her a chance to rectify her mistakes the way she wants, let her talk to the random guy at the bar who complimented her… You just have to watch over her from a distance (Do Not Read SPY). This would be enough to make her feel secured. Don’t be one of those nagging and pushy guys who want to be like the trail of the jet! You know you’re quite a guy to have won such a beautiful lady; and she would feel the same for you when you let her be HERSELF, the way she’d let YOU be!!!

Would continue… Well, you should’ve guessed it!!! Ain’t the ‘understanding woman’ hormone triggered as yet???

LET GO – 'easier said than done' route!

“I told myself, I’ll never see you again,

I put up the rudeness, till I drove you insane,

I wanted you to hate me; I turned my back to you,

I wanted you to smile without me, and now you really do!”

‘Letting go’ is not the same as ‘not wanting’! You might not want a lot of things and people in life, but then you inevitably can’t let them go. When I say ‘let go’, my meanings are not confined  to releasing yourself, but realizing if continuing would be worth it. Someone once told me, its not the trait of the weak to let go, rather it’s the courage in you that can do this. And please, ‘let go’ is not about moving on!!!

She broke up, she dumped him, and she walked on the pretty flowers and promised to forget him… She knew it would hurt, she knew she would cry, but she couldn’t put up with losing respect anymore, and she just wouldn’t give it another try… She thought she had ‘let go’, of him, of the memories, of the moments, of the sins. And she was happy, smiling and brimming that she had a life! Till one day, when accidently, it hurt, it hurt again... But she thought that she had let go…???

Believe me, you can never let go till you continue to self-bash yourself. It’s like the same as trying to forget that you broke a glass and also telling yourself you shouldn’t have done it.  The worst that I’ve seen people do is sulk away, close them up in a shell, engraving the pain into them, and thinking it to be the end of the world. Letting go is about accepting - that yes, there can be and will be people in life who can hurt you at times, but it’s all right to take them in stride. You cannot seclude yourself and wait for someone to massage your ego all the time. You cannot always win, but you can participate. And when this acceptance sinks in, you suddenly feel - you can breathe!!!

Smile for what you have rather than staring at the closed door and waiting for it to re-open someday. In crying for what we lost, we lose all that we have. And I’ve always believed that some people are meant to fall in love with each other, just that they’re not meant to be together! I wouldn’t let myself flow on this one, it might get disillusioned, but while everyone holds a new perspective to the phenomena of ‘letting go’, and its definitions may change across people, the bottom line lies with ‘acceptance’.  And the ticker -Never deprive yourself of a chance, because you don’t know what is waiting for you on the next turn!!!

What do women REALLY want!!! - 1

“My smile didn’t move you, and my tears didn’t linger,

You wouldn't ever understand, what makes me have your ring on my finger!”

Gosh! Don’t know if those lines caught you, but they were just my expression of how much your lady could be! And even before I begin, I think you all would know why I put the title as part -1. Yup! There’s a lot to come.

Half the men in the world don’t know what she wants, half of them don’t even care to know what she wants, and then; there are those few, who are very near to figuring out what she ‘actually’ wants but when the moment comes, they goof up and lose it to overconfidence! Period! Men believe that women are like a pack of crayons, so they keep their basic nature as a constant and it’s just the color that gets variable for them. That’s where they are mistaken the most. Rather your woman is a lot like ‘quick silver’ or mercury as you would call it – placid in nature, boils only when the temperature gets really high, highly reflective, but it slips out of your hand the moment you try to clutch it and spills on the floor. I’ve always believed that the things that seem the most complicated in life are the simplest to achieve.

Guys crib and crib and crib that they can’t understand that what the girl actually wants; whatever they do never seems enough! Here’s your pick – one day, just take yourself out of the whole picture, have your favorite beer in hand, sit aside and just review – just notice the moments when she was actually happy! The day you surprised her by picking her up from work, the smile she had when you got up to greet her friends, the day you brought her flowers out of the blue, the one hug that you gave her when she was into tears, the one toast that you raised with your friends saying, “she’s my girl”, the time you ‘didn’t’ stop her from doing what ‘she likes’, the day you drove 500 kms just to see her for 5 minutes… the day you planned for a movie and she had her girlfriends’ night out and you just replied by saying’ “Honey you go ahead, I’ll catch up with my boys”, or watch a match instead… whatever; the point to observe is that weren’t these moments the most inexpensive yet the priceless ones.

But this nowhere means that all that glitters is gold. Say for instance, I’m like a virtual chatterbox. That’s how people know me, I can go on and on about anything and everything arbitrary under the sun. But when I’m over chats, I hide myself ‘invisible’ and I pretend my inexistence(I don’t know my chances of keeping it safe anymore after the revelation now). That’s Rule no. 1 – the moment you think she’s predictable, she can be like the most incomprehensible thing on earth. You would understand her most when you try the least. Well, whoever said not to judge a book by its cover, must’ve been a very experienced and sensible lad! Let her be herself, don’t poke her, let her get back to you, and the moment you give her the space, she would comfortably settle in; but if you strangle her little corner, she can pounce on you for territorial invasions. The choice is yours – and till I come up with the next part, here’s the tip – let her know all that you feel about her, she might not run into you with an overwhelmed exuberance , but one day she would smile with contentment,  feeling lucky that she’s won the BEST man on the earth!!!

Commitment-phobic???

"Only the one whose put up with a lot of shit, knows what takes to stay away from it!!!"

My attitude has been, a lot of times, labeled as being that of a "commitment-phobic"... Well! that sounded a real heavy word to me at first, but then I thought to myself, ain't a commitment-phobic one whose supposed to have come a long way and learned a lot! People call it a disease, yet I proudly proclaim, perhaps, that I am a commitment-phobic, because for a person like me, whose been a part of the game, a true commitment-freak, things didn't work out either. Every time we want to drift away from a situation / person / thing, it needn't necessarily be not taking up the onus of the same. It has a lot to do with the fact that sometimes you just know deep down inside that 'it's not you'! No one can claim to know you better than your own self. It's the same as driving down a steep hill and applying breaks before that turn because you know u tend to under-steer around bends.

The moment I crop up the word 'commitment-phobic', I see stares and glares for myself, but dude! they don't have a pinch of idea about how MUCH a commitment drive would have done to a person who chooses to be commitment-phobic. And, to assert my point further, a commitment-phobic never aimed it to be their ambition, but over the course of time, the unhealed wounds, the uncared bruises, the held-back tears, the fight to remain strong, the fear of loosing it to oneself... it takes a lot!!! That's the time you start unwinding your fear, and they come out in all shapes, forms and sizes. So you think, and think, and think... till someone pats your back to say, "C'mon! high time! pick one", and you think again, if THIS time taking chances would be worth it.

There is a time in your life, when you want it all perfect and all decked up, and you do strive to keep it like that, only till such time you realize it wouldn't materialize, probably it wouldn't ever! So even if you keep on trying, pinning your hopes up the brightest star, it wouldn't, and be it 4 days, 4 months or 4 years - you have to call it off a day! It would take long to give up, in case you're a real commitment-freak, but the day you decide in your head, it all sublimes - and, that's the time when in a long long while, a calm settles in. A calm which has its pitfalls, a calm which will disrupt each time someone throws a pebble into it, a calm that would takes ages to restore; but a calm which will also bring in you what others' might take as commitment phobia!!!

The unpredictability of being unpredictable

Sometimes when I retrospect, I realize the fickleness of my own unpredictability! I know, it’s kinda philosophical, but it makes sense to me halfway through. I always, since the discovery of my ‘decision-making’ powers, have believed that everything and anything in my life, tones down to last two, and then, I’M CONFUSED!!! Yeah, I know I shouldn’t accredit myself with the most profound discoveries, the options always streamline to 2-3 and then you pick… But my problem begins AFTER I PICK! To put it into straight words, well, the scales dip and I choose one, but when I have it, I don’t want it!!! Not that I find my left-out option interesting, I don’t want that too… And then, out of the blue, I’ll like something which wasn’t even an option in the first place. Huh!

I’ve hated that part of me, and I continue to do so. There’s this whole contentment and sense of equilibrium when the clarity of vision strikes me. I feel light and loose, it’s like detangling your hair with the conditioner. But the moment I contain the satisfaction of celebration, the scales dip again, and I’m all scattered. I wonder if I have any of my ruling signs as Libra in the natal chart, so being the true hard-core Leonine, the roar is loud, only till I don’t plan to retire. The problem being that I retire too soon, the moment I’ve got the glory, I sulk. I don’t want that anymore. It’s true that the moment of pride is gone and one should continue, but for me, I force myself to begin from a scratch! Wondering if ‘this’ is what everyone refers to when they put me as the most unpredictable…!